22 Oct 2020 at 06:53am
You’ve met someone you really really like and you’ve been on a couple of dates.  They really turn you on and that steamy kiss you had on your last date made you long for more.  Since the third date is coming up, is it OK to take it to the next level? You’re wondering is the 3 date rule hook up really safe territory for you or should you wait longer?

The 3 Date Rule Hook Up
There is a rule out there that many like to abide by that says that after 3 dates, it’s OK to have sex with someone.  You’re in safe territory.  Is that realistic or should you wait? What I say is why buy into the whole “hookup culture“? This concept is really ruining dating for everyone.  It’s rarely about finding the right person anymore as much as it is about getting in someone’s pants.  The 3 date rule hook up really is a bunch of nonsense.

Many that I’ve dated before have had the expectation that if we’ve been on 3 dates then it’s OK to have sex even if we haven’t established any sort of relationship or exclusivity yet.  One guy I dated pretended to be exclusive with me just to get me in bed because we were on our third date, but I knew better and was on to him.  Hmm exclusive doesn’t include online dating while you’re with someone (just in case that wasn’t clear).  Then there was the guy who tried to rush through the first and second date to get to the third date … I thought he just wanted to really spend time with me … but he quickly showed his true colors.  The third date doesn’t have to be the “sex date”.  Don’t feel pressured by social norms or the person you’re dating.
Have Sex When You Are Ready
The third date doesn’t have to be the “sex date”.  Don’t feel pressured by social norms or the person you’re dating.

There is no right or wrong time to have sex with a new partner.  You have to have sex when you’re ready.  The 3 date rule hook up really does not apply here and isn’t your friend.  Unless you’re only looking for a casual sex partner, you should wait until you’re exclusive with the person and you’ve seen that they want to be with you regardless of what you’re doing. Then and only then should you move forward with a sexual relationship and ONLY when you’re ready.  This means being on the same page with them regarding your intentions AND expectations.

I always say that sex is what’s wrong with dating and that’s very true.  If you want something real then have a real relationship that is enhanced, not defined, by sexual intimacy.  When you have sex too soon, such as in the 3 date rule hook up, then your judgment is clouded by all those happy hormones that have you thinking you’re in love, so much so that you miss (or ignore) the red flags.  Take your time and enjoy each other’s company.  Start off slow and build anticipation.  Kiss and make out (or snog) without the physical act of sex, then when the right time comes the anticipation you’ve built will make it that much better!  When you do have sex you will know it was the right thing at the right time leaving you with a positive feeling rather than a not so pleasant residue.  Just remember …


  • 17 Apr 2021 at 04:28am
    Hello. Quite an interesting reasoning and, of course, has the right to life. Most likely, such relationships are typical for older people than for young people, because hormones at a young age still affect, and if you abstain from sex, you can even get moral trauma. Although my opinion is subjective. I also want to show you a wonderful dating at 50, because this is a great solution, as the practice of relationships shows.

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