Killop's Blog

The Older I Get The Trashier I Become

There was a time when I believed I had left all my immature, freshman-like behavior in the dorms along with wearing slippers to breakfast and thinking gourmet cooking was done on a George Foreman. But once in awhile I will surprise myself by asking "what the hell did I do last night!?" just like the days of my stupid youth. I had been on a good-girl streak this year. Apparently moving to the city kept me in check with avoiding seemingly reckless, and potentially dangerous, behavior. But then came the small-town country trip. My friend invited me to go to her hometown upstate for a laid-back weekend of shopping in Connecticut and drinking for less than a few bucks at the local bars. I gladly obliged and thought the trip would be a relaxing time away from the city noise. The getaway ended up being a night of debauchery, in which I ended up in a compromising position in a garage with my friends cousin. Say no more. Back in the day I probably would've been quite upset and ashamed over what I did, but the years have made me able to laugh at myself and shake things off a bit easier. You would think I would even cringe at the whole trashiness level, especially because my friend's cousin was a glorified man-whore, and no one I would respectably date. As youngins, we do things we look back and shake our heads at. There's a reason our parents told us to be home by a certain time and wanted to us to check in constantly. Even now when I hear stories about my siblings or younger friends goofing around or getting into trouble, I cringe and think the worst could happen. And yet, I don't seem to heed my own advice. We all make mistakes, we all wish there were things we could take back, but maybe there comes a point when we just have to laugh and make a good story of it. Someone is bound to learn the moral of the story, if it's not me. web, web, web, web, web, web, web

Lesson Learned

24 hours after a day in DUMBO (on cobblestone) my lovely boyfriend was icing my ankle while dotingly feeding me painkillers. 24 hours after a Bruce Springsteen concert (on crystal light and vodka) my head was in the toilet and my lovely boyfriend was calling me heinous, not at all concerned about my well being. He told me I did this to myself. He explained that the night before, he had warned me that I was wrong, that the crystal light wasn't absorbing the alcohol, like I had hypothesized, my empty stomach was, and that I hadn't listened. We need our boyfriends to comfort us but sometimes we also need them to tell us what's up, particularly when vodka is involved. He wasn't mad, though on the DUMBO day when he told me to wear comfortable shoes and I didn't listen because they didn't go with my outfit. I guess as long as I looked cute he could look past my disobedience. I looked cute that Saturday in DUMBO and I looked relatively cute when I was on the couch with my ankle suspended in the air. After Bruce, I didn't look cute (at all) vomiting (loudly) with make-up smeared down my swollen face. At first it may seem obvious. He is right. I am wrong. The ankle is a real injury and the puking thing is gross and possibly a sign of an alcohol abuse problem. But, it isn't that simple. Like relationships this is about sacrifice and compromise. I sacrificed my ankle to look cute. Then the morning after Bruce Springsteen I made another sacrifice, I gave up looking cute in front of my boyfriend to relieve some of the nausea in my stomach. Then it was time for my boyfriend to make a sacrifice. He sacrificed the ability to remain in my good graces by telling me what I needed to hear: I drank too much, I should have eaten and puking is gross and not cute. Then I needed to compromise. My pride. I told him he was right, but he still had to listen to me vomit. Sure, he was right. It's not a good idea to drink so much that I puke. But the lack of concern that I had grown accustomed to after my ankle injury didn't help things one bit. I had already felt bad physically, but then I felt bad emotionally as well, and yes, I learned something of a lesson. Of course, he might be helping me, but he could have held my hair while he told me I'm heinous and disappointing. He could have comforted me physically while chastising me verbally. Perhaps, that would have been the best compromise. I still would have learned my lesson, but, perhaps, felt a little a little better about it. Sources: Supportduweb , Hookyoup , Talkter , Ello, Yourtango, Kirka, Trafficswirl

Just 'Cause you Slept with Him Doesn't Mean you Should Sleep Over. Ten ways to Know he Wants you to Biggity Bounce.

A general question came in this week that deserves the front and center stylings of a weekly blog. It involves the slippery mattress of knowing when to leave after a casual hookup/casual sex. You see, just because you're sleeping together doesn't mean you are actually going to be or should be sleeping and snoring together. For some guys waking up next to a woman they just met is too intimate. The reality is the world of "casual" can be anything but. It can be treacherous and intense. The rule is there is no rule. Every hook up every night needs to be treated as an individual case. That shouldn't make things scarier, but in a way easier - more empowering. Why? Because it necessitates you read the situation in real time rather than sheepishly sticking to some plan your girlfriend tells you is a hard and fast rule. Should I stay or should I go is a game of finnese. And that of course goes for your partner too. Sometimes you're the homeowner and you want nothing more than to get big wang, but bigger mouth Charlie back in his sneakers and out the door. You want shut-eye not a night of a dude telling you about his dog growing up and why his sister is so "funky and cool". A casual hook-up means you're on the hook to be open and flexible. The problem of course being when two people don't see things the same way. But if all this is too opaque let me break it down like this. A dude probably wants you to bounce if: 1. He keeps looking at his watch and saying how late it is. 2. He keeps looking at his watch and saying how early he has to get up. 3. He keeps mentioning how much his roommate hates when guests stay over. 4. He starts dressing you. 5. He asks you if you know the number for the local cab dispatcher. 6. He rolls over and says, "Can you leave the door a bit ajar on your way out, it gets super hot in here." 7. He says. Well I had a nice time tonight... 8. He asks how far you live from his place. 9. He leaves to go to the bathroom for over...10 minutes. (that is a stall/ wait 'em out tactic). 10. He supposedly falls asleep super quickly and strategically spreads his body out on the bed like an immovable flesh blanket. Tuxedoman | Looker | koshkamn Myvidster Joel polkamn Laposte

A Little Bit of Dating Advice For You

Whether you are a teenager, or someone of a more mature age, that first date can be stressful. If you are very young and inexperienced, or if you have been away from the dating scene for many years, the situation may cause lots of anxiety.

Let us suppose you don’t know each other very well. The fun of dating is learning about each other, peeling away the layers and discovering all those wonderful quirks and traits. You are excited, nervous but in a good way.
My advice on dating is to keep the first few dates simple, there’s no need to put pressure on yourselves. I always give advice on dating for the first occasion to be a lunch date. There’s something more relaxing about it. It’s like a semi date and easier to walk away from if you don’t hit it off.
We all worry about what we should talk about when we meet someone new. Well, there are some simple guidelines, like: Remember to be a good listener and show interest in what the other person talks about.
As you share some details about your own life, remember to avoid being boring! Which means: don’t serve up every little detail about your life’s history then and there. Instead, just tell a few things which can preferably be told in a humorous fashion.
You may try to find that special someone through some type of dating agency. This can be one way of many to find new people, but don’t put too much hope into it.
Mr. or Miss Perfect may be on their files, but they might not. Why we click with certain people can’t be defined and bottled. We are into the mysterious world of sexual chemistry here. Speed dating is another way of meeting new people in an organized way. Yo get like five minutes with each, and can get a quick feeling about them. And if you really don’t like them it is comforting to know the meeting is short.
When doing the dating game, try to see it as such - a kind of amusing game. If you become too serious and clinging, those you meet will feel that and be put off. Nobody likes to be around people who come across as too intense and demanding.
You may be interested in knowing more on the subject of dating. The process of trying to find your soul mate can be confusing. At Loveawake dating you can find tips about relationships.